5.20.2011

Balancing Act

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Have y'all seen this commercial?



Well, every time it comes on, my mom says:  "That's going to be you!"

Part of me loves the thought that my future will contain such a balancing act-- the part of me that is a perfectionist and wants to be Superwoman.

But then, when I sit back and reflect on it, I realize that it may not be such a good thing.  Yes, I find happiness in being the perfect friend, daughter, student, etc, but, there really is NO such thing as being perfect.

I'm an overachiever and multi-tasker extraordinaire.

I'm a control freak and would rather do all the work knowing it will be done right, than trust someone else to help me.

I have trouble saying "NO" because I don't want to let others down.

The problem, though, is that at times while balancing my many roles and responsibilities, I end up running myself ragged to please everyone.  I achieve everything, and achieve it very well, but the sacrifice is myself.

As I think about a future, that will involve a husband and children to also care for and please, I realize that this may not be a good thing.  If I don't learn to put myself first sometimes and say "NO" the consequences could be detrimental.

I also know that I'm not alone.  Today women are expected to be the domestic goddess (which I intend to be) while also being educated and independent (which I also intend to be).  The problem, however though, is that we are constantly being pulled in a million different directions with a million different expectations.  And honestly...sometimes we just need to say:  "To heck with that!  I am who I am.  I know what my strengths are, but I can also embrace my weaknesses.  I deserve a break and to make mistakes every now and then."

So my questions on this Friday for all of you are:  Do you ever feel this way?  If so, how do you cope?

And on a lighter note...HAVE A FABULOUS WEEKEND!

19 comments:

  1. i have a commercial too :) mine is the car commercial with the triplet boys who play hockey

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  2. I think the way our society is heading, where it is normal for the wives to perhaps have a better job than the husband, this problem may be unavoidable. But it all depends on how you handle the various expectations. Like you said, you have to put yourself first because that is what will be best for your family and your job

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  3. Whenever I'm having an insecure moment, I remind myself that I am smart, funny, and pretty. I imagine myself telling someone who is ragging on me, "This is my face. This is my hair. This is me. Deal with it." And if they can't deal with it, I don't need them around. And to me, "dealing with it" means accepting that sometimes, I need an hour to get my nails done, I need three hours of quiet to study, I need sleep. "Dealing with it" means recognizing that sometimes, I can't deal with them, because I have to deal with me. Don't like it? DEAL WITH IT! :)

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  4. I know exactly what you are talking about! There are so many expectations it is impossible to fill them all. Good for you for taking the time to sit back and decide no, its not all possible. As for the coping method I have yet to figure that out. I cannot say no either, ever.. that is probably my biggest weakness that I am trying to work on!

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  5. Allie, I love your honesty, self-awareness, and the clear emotional connection you have to this topic. I have to say I can 100% relate to all you said--being perfect for everyone, to everyone, and to ourselves is exhausting...the worst part for me is the 'what if people discover I'm not perfect--that I'm just me...' I wish I could give you a magic cure, to saying "no" but there isn't one. Sometimes saying no to the little things--makes it a little less painful to say no to the big things. One final thought--I'm 100% with you on 'doing things myself'--it always works out better that way. TGIF girl and enjoy yourself this weekend :) xo

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  6. I love this, Allie! You are so, so right. I also have trouble saying "no" and my perfectionist nature drives me to slave away over work until I am satisfied that it is near-perfect. You're right.. this is definitely not a healthy behavior. We may be successful, but we will never be happy if we continue to put everything else before ourselves and our own peace of mind. I really needed this reminder today, to slow down and enjoy my life and not stress out about being in control. Thanks so much for this post :)

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  7. i know exactly how you feel! i'm one of those women too who thinks she can do it all. but i'm definitely learning how important it is to lean on others. it's definitely helped me to just take an hour to myself every once and a while -- no phone, no email just a book or a magazine and just chill out. i feel like a new person after!

    thanks for posting this. love your honesty!

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  8. Great post!!

    I have the same problem of wanting to do everything myself and know it's done right instead of asking for help. And I definitely have a real issue with saying, "No." I also can't stand the thought of letting anyone down.

    Love the advice about accepting strengths and weaknesses!

    Have a great weekend!!

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  9. I basically wrote my senior thesis on evolution of women in the professional world and mothers, basically a balancing act! I think it's awesome we can do both now but it's definitely going to be hard. Enter my giveaway on my blog!

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  10. You are definitely not alone, I feel this way a lot. It's hard to sit back and take care of yourself when you're so used to running after others or working on this or that project. I find that if I just go to a coffee shop or for a walk by myself, I can get my thoughts in order and have a little me time and also weed out the things I just can't do (as hard as it is to admit to myself.)

    Take care of yourself and have a cup of coffee or tea (or in a rough spot a strawberry daiquiri hehe)
    Julie. littlepinkrainboots.blogspot.com

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  11. I was the same way before my daughter was born. But once she came along, I quickly learned the word "no". I had to learn that my family came first, no matter what. I would like to think that I allow some "me" time now and then, but I think it's a constant struggle as a mom. My advice would be to surround yourself with friends who are in the same season of life as you, and hopefully you'll encourage and remind each other to take some out for YOU! :)

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  12. Oh my gosh, YES! Anyone that says they don't feel that way is either A) Lying or B) Delusional! Women have some of the most complicated lives with so many responsibilities and it is *so* tough to balance that and not feel like a failure. I'm pretty sure the only two things that keep me from going completely bonkers are my fantastic hubby and best friend who will call me out and tell me when I am being CA-RAZY and my faith in God that helps me to remember the things that are the *true* priorities. Otherwise, you might see me on the evening news in a police chase or something (c:

    P.S. I *loved* that you came back to tell me your verification word! That made me smile (c:

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  13. Great post, Allie. Very well written. If I wasn't so tired right now from balancing the kids, I would write more.

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  14. I can relate to this so much! I try SO hard to be perfect in everything I do, and sometimes it's just so overwhelming. I beat myself up if I don't get all A's, if I can't juggle everything everyone asks me to do in all of the clubs I'm in, if I can't accept every babysitting job I'm offered, and I have such a hard time asking for help. I think as women we're expected to do everything and do it all perfectly, which is impossible, but it's hard saying no. Great topic and post! Have a wonderful weekend, Allie!

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  15. hey lady,
    I just found your blog...so cute!
    You have a new follower, can't wait to read more :)

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Your comments brighten my day!