2.17.2012

Confessional

Wow--TGIF!  This week has been a long one filled with ups and downs.

I had two other posts planned for this week, but they just didn't happen.

A LOT has been going on--some good, some bad.  I'll start with the bad and end with the good.  This is going to be a text heavy post and not the most upbeat, but I need to get some things off my chest.  This post is my confessional--a place to share what's been spinning in my head this week.

The big bad has been on my mind for the last few weeks and I've debated whether or not it's something I want to share on the blog.  I try to keep most of my posts upbeat and positive, BUT, in the end I realized that I consider most of you my true friends and I want the blog to be a whole reflection of me.  That being said, sometimes the bad in life needs to be shared or at least expressed for my own coping.  

About two weeks ago we learned that my aunt has colon cancer--the doctor wouldn't give her a specific stage, because he said that different points on tumors will show different stages.  He did tell her that if she didn't have surgery to remove it that she would die.  

Since hearing the news, I've had a whirlwind of emotions--denial, anger, fear, and sadness.  When I first found out, I was more worried for myself than for my aunt--I know this is selfish, but I'm being as honest as possible.  I'm going to have to get colonoscopies every two years now, because I'm at risk and that scares me, A LOT!  I also think I've been majorly in denial about it all, not wanting to face the thought that my aunt is really sick.  Other than Bryce and now all of you, I haven't shared this news with any of my friends.  I haven't wanted to be negative when I have time with friends, but I also think I haven't wanted to admit the reality to myself.  

She had surgery yesterday, and fortunately things went as well as could be expected, she is recovering well, but has a LONG road ahead of her.  Her hospital stay is expected to be 3-5 days and after that she is coming to our house.  My mom doesn't work so she can take care of my aunt. Additionally, at her house, her bedroom and full baths are on the second floor, which causes major issues of having to go up and down the stairs.  She'll be staying in my room.  It's a sacrifice I am more than willing to make, but it also will be hard.  For the next few weeks/months our front door will be a revolving door for guests and my room will be inhabited.  I willingly volunteered for her to stay in my room, because logistically, it is the best spot, but it's not going to be easy.  

On top of all this--I have tonsillitis.  My throat has been hurting on and off since last weekend and finally Wednesday it got to the point that I thought it needed to be looked at.  I'll be on antibiotics for the next week.  

And finally for the last bad, Bryce is out of town.  He just left yesterday and will be back tomorrow, but when I'm sick I want to be spoiled and really just want to curl up with him in bed.  He's hunting at Quail Ridge Plantation in Georgia, so I'm very excited for him, but also wish he were home, too!

And now, enough bad for a Friday--let's talk about some good that's been going on this week!

I'VE FINALLY STARTED SUBBING!!!  After a long time waiting for paperwork to process, I made it onto the substitute list and have been able to sub every day this week.  I am so happy to be finally doing something with my days.  

I also have started a part time nannying job with a family that is friends with The Cuties.  It's all fallen into place perfectly and works out that the hours I'll be helping them won't conflict with substitute teaching.

Secondly, Bryce and I had the most wonderful Valentine's day together.  I'll be posting a full recap next week, but for now I will just show you the beautiful flowers he gave me:  a bouquet of pink roses and stargazer lillies (lillies are my favorite flower)!

Since this picture was taken Valentine's night, a bunch of the buds have opened--I'll have to snap another picture to put in my V-day recap for y'all to see!  

And the final good is that it's Friday and hopefully this long week can be put behind me.  My aunt is very sick, but surgery went WELL.  I do have tonsillitis, but it's now the weekend and I can relax and recuperate.  Bryce is gone, but he'll be home tomorrow and it's probably best to be with my family right now.  

I'm trying to focus on the positive during this tough time!

Hopefully this weekend I'll have lots of time to lay in bed-- relaxing, writing blog posts, and reading your blogs!  Get excited for a product review, Valentine's Day recap, recipe, and even a discussion topic coming soon!

What have been the highs and lows of your week?

Have a great weekend!