2.17.2012

Confessional

Wow--TGIF!  This week has been a long one filled with ups and downs.

I had two other posts planned for this week, but they just didn't happen.

A LOT has been going on--some good, some bad.  I'll start with the bad and end with the good.  This is going to be a text heavy post and not the most upbeat, but I need to get some things off my chest.  This post is my confessional--a place to share what's been spinning in my head this week.

The big bad has been on my mind for the last few weeks and I've debated whether or not it's something I want to share on the blog.  I try to keep most of my posts upbeat and positive, BUT, in the end I realized that I consider most of you my true friends and I want the blog to be a whole reflection of me.  That being said, sometimes the bad in life needs to be shared or at least expressed for my own coping.  

About two weeks ago we learned that my aunt has colon cancer--the doctor wouldn't give her a specific stage, because he said that different points on tumors will show different stages.  He did tell her that if she didn't have surgery to remove it that she would die.  

Since hearing the news, I've had a whirlwind of emotions--denial, anger, fear, and sadness.  When I first found out, I was more worried for myself than for my aunt--I know this is selfish, but I'm being as honest as possible.  I'm going to have to get colonoscopies every two years now, because I'm at risk and that scares me, A LOT!  I also think I've been majorly in denial about it all, not wanting to face the thought that my aunt is really sick.  Other than Bryce and now all of you, I haven't shared this news with any of my friends.  I haven't wanted to be negative when I have time with friends, but I also think I haven't wanted to admit the reality to myself.  

She had surgery yesterday, and fortunately things went as well as could be expected, she is recovering well, but has a LONG road ahead of her.  Her hospital stay is expected to be 3-5 days and after that she is coming to our house.  My mom doesn't work so she can take care of my aunt. Additionally, at her house, her bedroom and full baths are on the second floor, which causes major issues of having to go up and down the stairs.  She'll be staying in my room.  It's a sacrifice I am more than willing to make, but it also will be hard.  For the next few weeks/months our front door will be a revolving door for guests and my room will be inhabited.  I willingly volunteered for her to stay in my room, because logistically, it is the best spot, but it's not going to be easy.  

On top of all this--I have tonsillitis.  My throat has been hurting on and off since last weekend and finally Wednesday it got to the point that I thought it needed to be looked at.  I'll be on antibiotics for the next week.  

And finally for the last bad, Bryce is out of town.  He just left yesterday and will be back tomorrow, but when I'm sick I want to be spoiled and really just want to curl up with him in bed.  He's hunting at Quail Ridge Plantation in Georgia, so I'm very excited for him, but also wish he were home, too!

And now, enough bad for a Friday--let's talk about some good that's been going on this week!

I'VE FINALLY STARTED SUBBING!!!  After a long time waiting for paperwork to process, I made it onto the substitute list and have been able to sub every day this week.  I am so happy to be finally doing something with my days.  

I also have started a part time nannying job with a family that is friends with The Cuties.  It's all fallen into place perfectly and works out that the hours I'll be helping them won't conflict with substitute teaching.

Secondly, Bryce and I had the most wonderful Valentine's day together.  I'll be posting a full recap next week, but for now I will just show you the beautiful flowers he gave me:  a bouquet of pink roses and stargazer lillies (lillies are my favorite flower)!

Since this picture was taken Valentine's night, a bunch of the buds have opened--I'll have to snap another picture to put in my V-day recap for y'all to see!  

And the final good is that it's Friday and hopefully this long week can be put behind me.  My aunt is very sick, but surgery went WELL.  I do have tonsillitis, but it's now the weekend and I can relax and recuperate.  Bryce is gone, but he'll be home tomorrow and it's probably best to be with my family right now.  

I'm trying to focus on the positive during this tough time!

Hopefully this weekend I'll have lots of time to lay in bed-- relaxing, writing blog posts, and reading your blogs!  Get excited for a product review, Valentine's Day recap, recipe, and even a discussion topic coming soon!

What have been the highs and lows of your week?

Have a great weekend!

30 comments:

  1. I will definitely be praying for your aunt and you, Allie! I hope you enjoy your night with Bryce and have a great weekend!

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  2. Both you and your aunt will be in my prayers! Congrats to you for getting on the sub list-- that's awesome, and something to celebrate about! I hope you have a great weekend, and feel better!

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  3. So sorry to hear about your aunt... she will be in my thoughts. It sucks that all that is happening, but try to focus on the positives and feel better!

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  4. So sorry to hear about you aunt, sending lots of positive vibes her way. Don't be scared about the colonoscopies, I am also at risk and have to go every 2 years as well. Its not as bad as it seems I promise!

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  5. sorry about the bad news! i will keep you in my prayers! crazy, the quail plantation is close to where im from!

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  6. I am so sorry about your aunt. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Congrats on the teaching,and those flowers are gorgeous.

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    1. I'm really sorry to hear about your aunt, but I'm thankful that the surgery went well. It's also a real blessing that your family will be able to help her in this time of need. I'm sorry that you're sick, but hopefully this weekend will bring back your health and Bryce!

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  7. I'm so so sorry! Going to text you now, but sending you tons of virtual hugs and lots of love!!!!!!!!

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  8. Good thoughts from us Yankees up here in Penna. Hope all works aout to the better.

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  9. I am so sorry to hear about your aunt! I went through something similar this time last year with my grandmother and was selfish in my thoughts at times too, I hate to admit it also. I hope you feel better, and your family is such a great support system!

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  10. I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. Everything will work out, sometimes bad news is just really hard to process. Glad to hear surgery went well- here's to a speedy recovery!

    I hope you have a great weekend :)

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  11. I'm so sorry about your aunt but I'm glad her surgery went well. Sending hugs and good thoughts for her recovery.

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  12. So sorry to hear about your aunt, Allie. My good friend's husband has colon cancer (and is only 30 years old) and is currently kicking it's butt! I'm sure your aunt will do the same! Will definitely keep you, your aunt and your families in my thoughts and prayers.

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  13. I am so glad that your aunt's surgery went well!! My prayers are with her for a speedy recovery and I hope you get to feeling better, yourself! There is so much stuff going around right now!! My girlfriends mom had colon cancer back in September and they went in and got it!! She has had a long recovery but she is doing well! I know another one of my mom's friends - same thing and she is doing well also...just where that is such a fragile organ, it's a really hard recovery! But I KNOW your aunt will do amazing just like the other two I know :) just pray, pray, pray!! It's all we can do.

    And those flowers are gorgeous! Lucky, lucky girl! I want flowers :)

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  14. I am so glad that your aunt's surgery went well! I will definitely keep her and your family in my prayers!

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  15. I'm sorry about your aunt and I hope you get to feeling better soon. At least you can look at those beautiful flowers to cheer you up!
    www.winetastegirl.com

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  16. I am so very sorry about your aunt. Huge virtual hugs. What a blessing you are to offer her your room.

    My lows seem silly in comparison, but I try to remind myself that every day on Earth is a high in and of itself - sometimes easier said than done. Have a great weekend!

    P.S. Did you see the Stuff UVA kids say video? Kind of lame and funny all at the same time.

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  17. Oh girly, what a week!! My grandpa had colon cancer and though he recovered from it, it was no walk in the park so I think I know what you're all going through and feeling. Thinking of you and your aunt and sending lots of positive vibes your way. But congratulations on starting to sub and yay for a very happy Valentine's Day!! xox

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  18. wishing a her and you a quick recovery!

    congrats on subbing...my sister just got on a list so hopefully she starts soon as well!

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  19. I'm so sorry about your aunt, but it sounds like she is getting the bet care possible. I will keep y'all in my prayers!!! And I am so happy for all of the goods this week! Congrats on subbing and the job!!

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  20. I just love your blog for this very reason. I was so sad at first thinking "it isn't fair that her aunt has cancer, she is sick and Bryce is gone all at the SAME time" then I kept reading and couldn't help but smile! You make the best out of hard situations.

    I am so sorry for your aunt. I will be thinking about her and praying. Congratulations on subbing and your new job!! Have a great weekend!

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  21. I am so sorry about your aunt - she and you will both be in my prayers! I hope you feel better soon and have a nice, relaxing and fun weekend - you deserve it! Keep your head up :) better days are sure to come, and your positive attitude will help you get through this! Have a fantastic weekend!

    XO,
    Allie

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  22. Allie, you are so strong. I know you will get through this. You always have such a positive attitude and find a way to see the good things in every situation. I am thinking of your aunt at this time (and you!) and hoping for the best. On a lighter note, those flowers are gorgeous. I am looking forward to hearing about the V Day. It sounds like things are going well with your boy. I would love love love an email from you. I have a lot to tell you too. Feel better soon love!

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  23. Poor Poopsie!!! I had STREP last week and it does something to your mental state.IE whining! Take an EmergenC everyday while subbing..you will pick up everything! Praying for your Aunt one of my BFF's from HS actually 2 yrs. younger than me 46 has it as well.. it is a long road, but with love, support and prayer you all can ease her fears..

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  24. Oh my goodness my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and of course your Aunt. I hope she continues to heal. Glad you had a lovely Valentines day and that you are subbing
    xoxo
    SC

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  25. Allie I am so sorry to hear of your Aunt's illness. I wish nothing but the best results for her. Thinking of you...
    On a happier note I am glad you guys shared a great Valentine's Day!! I hope your tonsillitis clears up fast xo

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  26. So sorry to hear about your aunt. I'm glad the surgery went well. Hang in there!

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  27. I will be keeping your aunt in my prayers. So sorry to hear about that! Hope she is doing well after the surgery! I'll be thinking of you!

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  28. I am so sorry to hear about your Aunt. I am praying for a speedy recovery for her. I hope you are feeling better.

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  29. Awwww Allie I'm so sorry to hear about your Aunt! I'm catching up on all my blog reading, and I can't believe I'm just now reading this! I hope that by now you Aunt is feeling a bit better and that things are flowing smoothly at your house. Don't be afraid to vent things here on your blog because it's your place after all! I'm wishing all the best for you and your family!

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